Category Archives: Healing

Closing the door on conventional medicine


There have been very few studies that compare surgery with non-surgical options in terms of the overall health and mobility of your dog and it is often just assumed that surgery is the only option. Surgery is never without implications and a more conservative approach will always leave you with more options later. In many cases the joint will heal and become stable with the proper support during healing.

This is how Dexter led us away from the medical system and slammed the door behind us.

Dexter was a big strong dog.  He weighed 50kg and he loved to run.  It was a great pleasure to see him run through the woods, leaping over trees and being so attuned to the land that he didn’t even have to look where he was going.  When he started to limp on his right hind leg and didn’t want to run, just before Christmas 2009, we knew it wasn’t just a strain.  The standard veterinary advice is to keep him on the lead for 10 days and we did that, more or less, but he didn’t improve.  So we took him to the vets.  Dexter was so patient.  He hated the vets, but he went along with it with no resistance and our local vet immediately referred us to an orthopaedic surgeon.

At that time my telepathy was not so well developed.  Telepathy between living animals is experienced through the electromagnetic field of the heart.  The brain simply decodes the signals, just like it does for all the other senses.  That’s why telepathy is so much stronger between people and animals who are in a close relationship with each other.  Dexter and I were very close, but I was still trying to convince him to go along with what I thought was best for him, rather than asking him what he wanted.  The truth of it was that I didn’t know what to do and because he was in so much pain, we turned to the experts, just like we were programmed to do.  However, something happened.

The examination room in January was as cold and grey as the surgeon.  He grabbed Dexter by the waist and made him yelp in pain and told us that he was just performing a normal examination and that Dexter was a wimp (more or less).  He then diagnosed an anterior cruciate ligament injury and told us that he needed surgery. This surgery would require drilling and putting a plate in his leg, it would be five months recuperation in a cage and he might get back 80% mobility at best.  Something in the arrogant assumption of the surgeon that we would go ahead and perhaps the faintest whiff of the archontic infection in him (although we didn’t know what that was at the time) made us both recoil as though he’d thrown us a rotten kipper.  I said, “No thank you, we’ll find another option.”  The surgeon told us we would be back, because there was no other option and I said, “I don’t think so.”  We couldn’t get out of there quick enough.

That encounter in the examination room was one of those occasions when you come up against the archontic machine and see it for what it is – that is something completely against nature that is pretending to help you while it actually intends you harm.  The vet was the human-like user interface of the medical system, but he was nothing more than a highly educated and well-paid automaton.  It’s much easier to spot the dehumanized now, after that experience.

Our decision to find another way was not rational at that point, we didn’t have any skills or experience in dog physiotherapy!  However, we instinctively we felt that if there was a five month recuperation period after the operation, we would do the recuperation before and see if we could avoid the operation.  We did lots of research and Dexter’s regime began on 11th February 2010.

It included:
– two 10-15 min walks a day on lead
– hydrotherapy twice weekly
– pulsating electro-magnetic field therapy
– daily low-level laser therapy
– supplements

It was hard initially, as after only 10 mins slow walking on the lead, Dexter would come home and lie on the couch almost comatose. But, after a couple of weeks, we could see him getting stronger and we became more confident in what we were doing.

We scoured the internet and found huge support, enough to give us confidence in our approach at tiggerpoz This site is a brilliant resource that aggregates data from many sources on canine cruciate ligament injuries and treatment. It contains far more information than I’ve got here and if you have a dog with a knee injury and are considering surgery, please check this out before you commit your dog to what might be unnecessary (and expensive) pain and suffering. It also draws attention to the fact that there is very little scientific evidence in support of this surgery, hardly anything in the way of follow-up studies and that dog owners are being mislead into thinking this is the only or best option.

By the 26th March 2010, it was hard to keep him on the lead as he was so strong. He went onto two 45 min walks, partially off the lead and barely limped, even after his walk.

On the 4th July 2010, almost five months to the day after we took Dexter to the specialist, we decided that it was time for Dexter to be freed from his brace. Over the preceding few weeks we had left his brace off for some of his walks, sometimes he had seemed a bit tired and we didn’t want to overdo it.

Over a period of four weeks we gradually reduced the amount of time he kept his brace on for exercise. We started taking the brace off on the last leg of the walk back to car park, then half-way through the walk, then for the whole walk in the mornings whilst keeping it on for half the afternoon walks etc.  On the 10th July he leapt out of the car to chase a squirrel. His recovery was complete and amazing.

We bought Dexter’s brace from Woundwear in the US, as we couldn’t find anything like it in the UK. I had to make several adjustments to the brace as the swelling went down on his leg – including the thickened stifle (knee joint) returning to normal – and when he broke some of the ring connectors as he became so much stronger and pulled to hard on the lead. We only used the brace for exercise outside, not in the house at all, but it has made a significant contribution to his recovery. He accepted it immediately and it meant he could enjoy his walks, which are so psychologically important, without setting back his recovery.

Dexter had some arthritis in later years, but he never had any problems with the knee joint again.  Neither did he have any problems with the other leg and we’ve met many dogs who had one leg operated on, only to have to have the other leg operated on a year or so later because of overuse.

From that moment on I became very wary of the veterinary and the medical profession and the more I’ve looked into it the more I feel justified in that approach.  The key learning for me through this process was that it is precisely at the moment of need that the solution arises – in any situation.  We did not consider ‘going it alone’ with his recovery until we were confronted with something that was completely unacceptable to us and we had to find another way.  This is human inventiveness in action, but you never get to discover it in yourself if whenever you have a problem you go to some one else for a solution.  I’m very grateful to Dexter for that lesson, which has proven its value many times over.



Releasing trauma

We had a retreat here last Equinox and I’ve only recently understood what happened.  We had an all-night vigil leading up to the Equinox sunrise, working with sacred plants.  I had the extraordinary experience of having my body do some kind of yoga exercises, or so I thought, before going into involuntary spasm.  I was outside most of the night while this was going on.  My shamanic senses were awake and I noticed the trees rustling and the dogs starting to bark before my body went into spasm – I could feel the telluric currents of the Earth and how everything was tuned into them.  It was a wonderful feeling, delicious and sometimes causing me deep belly laughs. At other times it was as though every organ, muscle group and cell in my body was getting its own vibratory massage.  I felt so amazingly relaxed after and knew that the Earth had given me some amazing healing.

When I started planning for our next retreats, I decided to go back and explore this experience more thoroughly.  I knew, from my kinesiology training, that the psoas muscle was involved and that it tends to hold onto emotional experience and trauma, so that was my first stop.  I was amazed to discover that there is a whole new paradigm of trauma release, with exactly the same exercises that came to me at Equinox.  It is no longer sufficient to treat trauma and PTSD on a one-to-one basis, as we now have whole communities, even countries that are traumatised.  These exercises are very easy, anyone can do them and teach them to others and they always work.

They work because there is no escaping trauma in life, so we are endowed with the ability to experience it and recover from it, just like all the other animals.  We have just forgotten how to let go and release as a physical action, so the trauma stays in our minds and in our bodies.  We talk about ‘cellular memory’ but ignore the fact that cells are physical!  Of course we can, and do, affect our bodies with our thoughts and feelings.  We all know how the immune system is especially vulnerable to critical self-talk and negative feelings, but if it was that easy to turn this around wouldn’t we have done it already?

It is that easy, we just haven’t been approaching the problem in the right way.  Trauma, stress and many so-called psychological problems are maintained in the body and the mind is consistently drawing our attention to what needs to be released in the body. When this doesn’t happen our minds begin to alter our sense of self in order to be consistent with the physiological changes and chemical changes our bodies experience as the result of the contraction from prolonged stress and tension.  This in turn changes our neurophysiological structures and our entire experience of ourselves in the world changes.  Our reality changes and we begin to create our future experience according to this limited reality.  We cannot ‘let go’ of something, or release tension, just by thinking about it.  That’s one reason why talking therapies have limited results.

In this video David Berceli explains how he discovered this process and how he has used it in his work as a therapist specialising in PTSD.  It is an excellent video, in which he also goes through the exercises in a group setting and in real-time so you can follow along.  I followed the process again and I had a similar result as for the Equinox, not quite as intense and with slightly different shaking movements, but the end result was the same – a wonderful feeling of relaxation and release.

This time, I did the exercises with conscious awareness, as opposed to the spontaneity of the Equinox experience.  After the Equinox, I felt great and relaxed, but I didn’t know that it was because I had released trauma from the distant past.   I was homeless for a while and in an abusive relationship as a teenager, now ancient history.  However, with the conscious release came the realization for me, that my ‘corporate career’ was in reality a reaction to this trauma.  The physical abuse over several years forced me into a different identity that was contracted and limited; I could only perceive the world through the lens of survival and material things.  I was lucky, I was able to survive and thrive in that existence.  It was only when I began to question, “Is this it?” that Sophia sent Dexter into my life and the contracted me began to spin out and expand.  This realisation gave me psychological closure on any residual trauma and also opened another door – is trauma preventing people from experiencing the magic?

I am working on this assumption for our Beltane Retreat.  We are all capable of telepathy, clairaudience, lucid dreaming and so much more, but we are not able to access these faculties when our bodies are contracted.  We cannot experience freedom in contracted bodies. Experiencing trauma is essential to the shamanic experience, as we can’t experience the fullness of life without getting out of our comfort zone and this can be traumatic.  We are designed for that, we are amazingly resilient; we just need to remember to release the trauma, to shake it off and move on so that we can perceive the magic that is all around us.

Entities and Grief

Over the past few weeks my sadness and grief over Dexter’s death has been getting worse and worse.  I was overcome with heaviness and tiredness, I was tearful and had stabbing pains in my heart and developed back ache.  These can be symptoms of entity attachment, but I didn’t realize it at first, not until I saw the white bird on the roof yesterday.

Galician wagtail

Galician wagtail

The bird is a wagtail.  We don’t see them often here.  (Just as I typed this a robin flew in the cabin, this has never happened before either.  I’ve let him out the window, but now I’m wondering what the birds are communicating.)  There were two wagtails here, a pair.  In the sunlight I recognised it as the same species that I saw on the roof of the rented house that helped me clear Dexter’s entities for the first time.  The question burst into my mind: did I have entities?

In the predawn in between time when I was in bed, not quite awake and not quite asleep, I realized that my grief had attracted something “other”.  I asked for its name, “Juan Jose” it said.  So, laying in my bed with Dean and Tulku next to me and Riley at my feet, I told Juan Jose that he needed to leave, that this wasn’t the place for him.  Nothing happened.

How do I clear myself of entities, I mused.  Is this even possible?  I needed help.  The image of Dexter inviting me into the woods popped into my mind and Tulku groaned and wriggled closer.  Was it possible for them to be connected?  Tulku was only three months old and I didn’t want to risk harming him, but the spirit of the dog shaman flows through him and Dexter is working with us in the nagual, the invisible world.  I asked Tulku if he was ready and he rolled over onto his back and groaned again.

I saw the thread that linked Tulku and Dexter and tild Juan Jose to follow it, that I understood why he was here, but that this wasn’t where he was supposed to be.  Nothing happened.  I could still feel his invisible weight clinging to my heart.  We needed more help – who would help?

Suddenly Oscuria appeared in my mind.  “I’ll help,” she said.  She didn’t need to do anything; she just showed up and suddenly Juan Jose was gone.  perhaps he had a connection with horses.  But the physical ache in my  heart didn’t shift.  Was there some one else there?

“Who are you?”

“Mari Carmen” came the reply.

My mind was suddenly flooded with images of the lost souls of the Franco years.  “Disappeared” fathers and sons leaving wives and mothers, like Mari Carmen, withering away in the desert of unknowing, unable to leave even after death.  I felt her sadness and knew that my sadness over Dexter had attracted her and that now I was feeling her sadness and grief too.

Mateu had told us about a friend who is visiting who is active in an organisation that scours the country, locating and exhuming the remains of people murdered by the Franco regime so that their relatives can give them a proper burial.  Somehow, this tenuous connection through my consciounsess and my own feelings of sadness, brought Mari Carmen to me.  I sensed her desolation and exhaustion, but I was also able to separate her feelings fro my own.  My grief for Dexter diminished with the realization that so much of our relationship continued after his physical death.  With that, her attachment to me faded and Oscuria led her away.

The next morning the pain in my chest was gone, along with the sadness and tiredness that had weighed me down.  Lost souls are attracted to grief and sadness because it is the experience they held with the greatest intensity when they were alive and it is all they remember and they are afraid to let it go and face oblivion.  It is up to the living to let go our grief and sadness so that we can all find peace.




Entities and Illness

By the beginning of March 2013 I was questioning everything.  Dexter was not getting better.  We kept looking for signs of recovery and focusing on any positive aspect of his health that we could find; that he still had a healthy appetite, that the sore lump on his wrist was healing and that his other lumps had mostly gone.  I focused continually on creating the reality of health and wellness for him and it was using all my energy – I was exhausted.

(I did not know at this time how to co-create with the Wisdom Goddess.)

A week into March Dexter went into steep decline.  Suddenly he couldn’t walk unassisted.  When we helped him up he collapsed after just a few steps.  He didn’t even want to go for a walk, for the first time ever, and the light had gone from his eyes.  He was in terrible pain and I couldn’t bear to hear the crunching of his hips when he tried to walk.  He wasn’t eating and hadn’t gone to the loo in days.  The constipation was a real concern.  We increased his pain medication (Previcox) to one a day and we were beginning to wonder whether it was the beginning of the end.  This was something we dared not speak of.  We shared the burden of that thought through worried glances – we didn’t want to say it out loud.

I still felt that I was missing something, but what?  How do you search for the unknown?

One sunny day, I called my friend Liz back in London.  I remember hearing a hawk calling over the ridge, but I couldn’t see it when I looked outside.

Liz always asked after Dexter’s health and her words are burned into my memory forever, “Are you sure it’s not an entity?”

Time stood still in that moment.  I hadn’t had much experience with entities, but I was aware they existed and I knew people I trusted who had encountered them.  Liz went onto say, “When Sparky’s spine sagged, it was always because of entities.  The animals take them on for us you know.”

I knew with absolute clarity that Dexter had entities and they needed to be cleared. I can’t explain how I knew, but I had experienced the clarity of knowing something that had not been acquired through my normal senses and I knew what it felt like.  I didn’t know what to do, or how to prepare, but I also knew in that instant that preparation was irrelevant.

Dexter was lying in the garden.  I went out to him and asked for help.  AA Raphael and Baba Ji showed up.  I addressed the entity and told it to leave and go to the Light, that it did not belong here.  Nothing happened and I kept on telling it to leave, doing the shouty-command thing with arms outstretched. Then Dexter started shaking and thrashing around and I told him that it was OK to let it go, but it wasn’t budging.  This carried on for five minutes or more and I didn’t know what to do and felt desperate.  Without thinking I just happened to glance up at the roof and there was a small white bird, the size of a sparrow but completely white, on the apex of the roof.  On seeing the bird I felt a wave of compassion for the entity and I knew it didn’t now where to go.  With great tenderness I told the entity that the bird would show it the way.  At that the bird flew off, Dexter laid down and the dogs next door stopped howling.  Then he got up on his own and walked around the garden and had a great big dump – four days worth!

Dean came home to find Dexter wandering round the garden and I told him what had happened.  I’m never sure what Dean thinks about these things, his experience of reality is so different to mine.  But he won’t deny that Dexter was clearly better and stronger.  However, he was still edgy about coming into the house and I felt in a way that I can’t explain that something wasn’t right.  It felt to me as though there was some heavy energy around the front of the house – the air felt thick and it made my head foggy.  It hasn’t been confirmed by other sources, but I described it as an energetic portal.  I felt it might be why Carlos next door was mad!

Working on instinct, I made a rattle and programmed the frequency for Forgiveness into my laser and went around all the doors and windows, corners and every room telling whatever was there to leave and commanding the portal to be moved into the sky.  When I finished I asked that it be sealed from eternity to infinity.  In that moment there was a flash of lightening and a great clap of thunder.  Dean witnessed the thunder and then Dexter was OK coming into the house.

I thought it was over, but that night Dexter would not lie down and sleep.  He kept crying and howling and wouldn’t let Dean lie down.  He would only be quiet if Dean was standing up next to him – clearly he didn’t want Dean to go to sleep.  I remembered his role as Anubis, the gatekeeper and I realised that something was attaching to Dean and Dexter was protecting him and letting us know in the only way he could that something needed to be done.  What needed to be done?

Working on some barely remembered instinct I went through a cleansing with Dean.  I told what was there to leave, but it wouldn’t go.  This energy seemed to be clinging onto him because of some flawed sense of connection, an illusion of relationship.  By acknowledging the relationship I managed to get it to move down to Dean’s feet and then I closed Dean’s chakras and broke the connection and convinced it to leave.  Immediately after, we both saw the tiniest, brightest rainbow ever, glowing in the field next door.  It wasn’t raining and the whole house felt different, lighter and cleaner.

That afternoon we met some neighbours who knew the previous owners and I asked them about the house’s history.  They told us that the son of the previous owner had committed suicide there a few years back.

After that, Dexter went from strength to strength.  His appetite and his life force returned and he enjoyed a glorious retirement after we moved to our new home in May of that year.  I think Dexter would have died in that rented house if I hadn’t been able to free him from the entity and I suspect that happens to more people than we might think.  These ‘lost’ energies are everywhere.  I think of them as memories and energetic interference that gets left behind in the trauma of death.  (The template for this was set up when the Aeon Sophia plunged from the pleroma and unintentionally created the archons.)  Some of these energies are malevolent, if the living person they had been part of was evil, while others are just lost or confused.  I suspect that when people do everything possible to recover their health when they have a chronic illness and they don’t get better, that it might be because they have an invasive energy feeding on them.  We are not meant to get sick and die from these diseases like we do.

The key symptom of entity attachment with Dexter was sudden collapse.  He would be walking along, seemingly normal, and suddenly his legs would give way and he would fall to the ground face first – it was awful to see.  It didn’t happen so much after we moved to the finca, because we are off the beaten track and we hardly see any people.  But it did happen on occasion.  It finally dawned on me that he was attracting the entities so that I could send them on their way.  Not evil entities, just lost souls.  So we carried on doing this whenever necessary for the rest of his life.

In October 2014, I thought we’d adjusted reasonably well to Dexter’s death, but I gradually became overwhelmed with tremendous grief an sadness.  Even Tulku couldn’t cheer me up.  Yesterday we saw a white bird on the roof here and I suddenly questioned whether I had attracted and entity.  How could I clear it without Dexter?


doggiesingardenxmas2012Dex, Riley, Izzy Pousadela