Monthly Archives: August 2015

The Luminous Child

Fierce Loyalty to the Luminous Child

“You are mistaken, blind one. There is an immortal Child of Light who came into this realm before you and who will appear among your duplicate forms, in your simulated world. . . . Humanity exists, the root anthropos, and the offspring of the human strain exists. . . And in the consummation of all your works, its entire deficiency of truth will be revealed and dissolved by this luminous Child.”

John Lash quoting from the Nag Hammadi

Riley was supremely loyal, more so than any other dog we ever had.  Her recall was pitch perfect; even if she was chasing something and we called her, she would reel around and come straight back.  People used to admire this quality in London on the common, as though we had trained her so well.  We hadn’t, this was simply her expression of what was important to her.  Without the guiding framework of the Sophianic Narrative, Riley’s loyalty is just the ordinary loyalty of a dog to her pack and that is beautiful enough in itself.  The Story allows me to put the pieces together in such a way that it reveals the greater Beauty of her life and strengthens the canine-human bond, which is one of my aims in writing this blog.  In fact, it is due to living in the Story that I was able to experience a dew-drop sweet moment of shared awareness with Riley the day before she died, on the first anniversary of Dexter’s death.

A little background here:  I had always found it more difficult to ‘read’ Riley than our other dogs.  Dexter could always tell me what he wanted really clearly and I knew that I was helping him right up to the day he died.  (There were two phases in which he refused my help, one in London when a psychic helped us through and then again on the day he died.)  With Riley I was never that sure that I was helping her, or whether she was just pleasing me.  She always said she was fine.

On the 6th of August, Riley came with me when I went to the woods to talk with Dexter.  I still miss him, but the pain over his passing has gone and I now feel immense gratitude for having known him and especially for bringing us here, where we finally came to know the Wisdom Goddess.  I had an unresolved issue at the time of Dexter’s death and that issue was unconditional love.  People say that dogs are here to teach us unconditional love, but that never rang true to me.  I couldn’t get to what the issue was in the weeks and months after Dexter died and gradually forgot about it.  As I thought about it again, my unspoken question was answered in an unfolding of awareness that moved through me and Riley in split-second synchronicity.  Almost before I could hold the thought and with the closest shared mind connection we had ever had up to that moment, Riley got up, nuzzled me and walked away.  I felt as though I had finally grasped something important from her perspective.  Looking back, I realise that is when she knew she could leave.

This is what I heard in that moment:

“I give you dogs to always reflect your Beauty, even when you cannot see it yourselves.”

This was a message from the Aeon Sophia, transmitted via the love that burned between Riley and me.  Riley loved me and Dean because of her love for the luminous child that Sophia endowed in all dogs.

In the Gaia Mythos the luminous child is the pre-existent, pre-terrestrial emanation of the anthropos, the human animal, that is the seed for all our potential.  Our dogs always see and love this potential glowing in us.  To describe this as unconditional love is a failure to recognise love, because all love is unconditional, or else it’s not love at all.

Riley embodied a fierce love and loyalty to the luminous child she saw in us and she reflected that Beauty back at us, to her least breath.  She never faltered in her mission to ensure that we never forget that we are the Luminous Children of the Wisdom Goddess.  When your dog greets you with enthusiasm after a long day and wants to play, remember that this is not just because he/she loves you; she also sees all your potential in every moment.

Be the person

Goodbye Grandma

Tulku took Riley’s death hard too.  He tried to get her to play and pawed at her as she lay in her grave before we buried her.  He spent the whole of that day and most of the next sitting by her grave – heartbreaking.  He didn’t understand what had happened to Grandma and he was grieving.

He thought she had left because of something he had done or not done. He asked me: why didn’t she love him enough to stay?  Was he not big and strong enough?    Riley taught Tulku how to play without going for the jugular, which is his natural instinct.  He was a little shit winding her up so that she would growl and snap at him when she wanted to rest, and for him it was a great game.  He thought of her as a mate and for her he was a little whippersnapper to be knocked into shape if he was going to be Dexter’s successor, but they played hard together and loved it.

He is still confused and, just like Dexter was after Kiss died, reluctant to take on his new responsibilities.  He sat in the woods and watched us working in the food forest, ready to run down if needed, just like Riley taught him.  Then today, izzy took him off to play.  He is still just a year old and he will bounce back quickly.

The Death of Riley

Today, the day after the first anniversary of Dexter’s death, we lost Riley.  It was sudden and unexpected.  When I look back I can see that she seemed a little tired and that she wanted to lay outside on the earth, but I had no idea she was ready to go.  She got up easily this morning as she always did – she always seemed to want to go out for the morning walk so that she could get her breakfast after.  She loved her food.  This morning she ran and played, rough and tumbled with Izzy and Tulku as usual.  She deflected Tulku from bundling Izzy, as she always does and then they heard something and all three took off through the woods.

Tulku lost Izzy and Riley and came back to us and then went running off to find them.  About 10 minutes later Izzy and Riley came back and we sat in the woods for a bit and then headed back to the cabin.  Riley sat in front of the door on the verandah and felt a bit shaky. I asked her if she was OK and she said yes, as she always did and I went inside.  But she wasn’t alright.  Jon saw her keel over and called me out.  I held her as she tried to sit up again and soothed her and she died in my arms.  I tried to give her mouth to mouth for a few minutes as I felt her last gasps, but I knew it was her moment to go.

Riley was the most loyal dog we ever had; the most dedicated to reflecting our beauty back, as the Aeon Sophia told me in the woods yesterday.  She nuzzled me in that moment and left, looking back over her shoulder so poignantly, after I received that message.  It was as though her work was done.

She had also trained Tulku thoroughly; taught him how to play without having to win and how to be a bit gentle with Izzy.  Riley saw that we now have a pack, with Jon and Dorota, that we are safe and loved.  I think she wanted to join Dexter, who was the love of her life.

The timing of her passing is uncanny.  This is the signature of the love story that held these two beautiful creatures together.  Riley grieved for at least five weeks after Dexter died.  I think she would have gone there and then if we hadn’t got Tulku, although she wasn’t keen on him at first and we called her Grumpy Grandma.  He learned very quickly that it was easy to rile her up, but that she would never hurt him.  (More of that in Tulku’s Story.)   There was enough of Dexter’s thread in Tulku for her to keep a hold on her life at that time and her sense of responsibility kicked in; he needed to be trained to be Dexter’s successor and nobody could do it but her.  Ultimately, it was not enough to keep her here.  Her sense of longing for her mate grew stronger and she gently let go of the threads that kept her here.  I felt Dexter’s name on my lips with her last breath.

NB: I also got stung by wasps a couple of weeks ago, just like I did a couple of weeks before Dexter died.  So much still to learn.



Today is the first year anniversary of Dexter’s death.  I still miss him, but with a sense of gratitude for his life, rather than grieving for his death.

I went into the woods he loved and where I still felt his presence.  As the memories welled up with great tenderness, Riley comforted me, licked me and then left.  Tulku stayed next to me as I laid on the ground under the pine trees.  In that moment I learned that the loyalty of dogs, their unconditional love is not just to their owners, but to the idea of the Anthropos.  The Aeon Sophia dreams dogs into the world as an enduring reminder of Her love for us.